Sometimes I feel like my life is a list of excuses. Why I'm not smart enough or strong enough or fast enough to reach my goals. Lately I've been feeling like that applies to my love life as well. Why I deserve to be with someone or can get hit on my a million guys but never get a title or why it's so easy for me to give up my wants when I'm in love, yet I can't give myself that same devotion.
I was at my girlfriends house the other day listening to music when she pulled up Tori Kelly's r&b/pop ballad "Dear No One." I'm not one for run-of-the-mill love songs or the latest grind on me, whine on me verbal porn stuff, so this song struck me as she sang "So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you, But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone. Cause when the time is right you’ll be here, but for now dear no one, this is your love song."
My heart swelled.
In this new year, 2014, I know I'm meant to learn from 2013 mistakes and make myself a priority, but most of all I think I'm meant to learn that IT'S OK, to not be in love, lust or like with anyone. To use that same selfless ferver I apply in relationships to myself. To be selfish for once. To keep researching travel programs where I can Spanish and be too busy to text first and go out with my girlfriends and leave my phone at home.
It's time I stop making excuses for reasons why I should be with someone, and start making excuses why I have a lot more living to do before I should.
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